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https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2025/aug/18/are-we-letting-stranger-danger-get-in-the-way-of-connecting-with-our-community>
"About six months ago, a friend and I took our kids along to the shopping
centre in Ballarat for some school holiday activities. When I rocked up, my
friend was already deep in conversation with another mum, who was not initially
known to us. I joined in on the yarn, in my usual fashion, and by the end of it
we’d all exchanged numbers and invited the new mum over to our home as well as
an event at our community hub.
Friends often gasp when we retell this story. Approaching someone unknown and
proceeding to ask for their digits? The audacity! We have become so used to
operating in isolation, segregating ourselves from the world and those around
us, that it has become a challenge to push beyond our comfort zone and engage
with people we don’t know. God forbid we exchange words with someone random,
let alone extend our circle of friends.
According to the
Household, Income and Labour Dynamics in Australia survey,
an estimated 15% of Australians aged 15 and over were experiencing social
isolation in 2023. The Australian Institute of Health and Welfare states that
social isolation and loneliness can harm mental and physical health and may
affect life satisfaction.
So why aren’t we making more of an effort to embrace more people into our
lives? To connect with more people? To even meet our neighbours? According to a
2020 study, there were 40 reasons which prevented people from making friends –
with the main one being low trust, followed by lack of time, and introversion.
But growing up, I saw how my parents and broader community constantly worked to
foster friendships – old and new – with love, warmth and openness. Time wasn’t
a barrier. The aim of the game was to open our home, to invite people in, to
share a meal. I will always see in my mum and dad their willingness to connect
with those around them. Even now, more than 30 years after I moved to Ballarat,
I’ll see people from my childhood down the street and they’ll stop to chat.
“You were my neighbour! I still remember eating all those Persian sugar cubes
in your house!”
And when we recoil at the thought of meeting new people, because we don’t trust
anyone or it’s too hard, we run the risk of our children modelling our
attitudes and behaviours. It makes me sad that we teach “stranger danger” with
no context, rather than teaching our children about how to be safe but still
promoting that, at the end of the day, we are all part of one human family,
interconnected and bleeding the same.
I’m not suggesting we lead a life of ignorance. People have lost trust in
humanity – and for good reason. We have become aware of harrowing cases of
institutional child sexual abuse – in Ballarat in particular that trauma is
never far from the surface. The recent case of a Melbourne childcare worker
charged with the alleged sexual abuse of children and infants in his care has
amplified parental concerns and sparked immediate childcare safety reviews and
reforms at the federal and state level. Our interactions need to be approached
with a level of wisdom and safety has to be a top concern. This isn’t about
welcoming everyone into our home without a second thought.
Conversations about personal space and safety need to be a high priority in all
settings. It’s about being vigilant and educating the community – especially
our young ones – about the signs to look out for, about when to speak out,
about who to turn to for help. But we must not let fear come at the expense of
community."
Cheers,
*** Xanni ***
--
mailto:xanni@xanadu.net Andrew Pam
http://xanadu.com.au/ Chief Scientist, Xanadu
https://glasswings.com.au/ Partner, Glass Wings
https://sericyb.com.au/ Manager, Serious Cybernetics
