The Three Little Wombats

When I moved to Australia in 1989 it was to be a bit of an adventure. I had just graduated from the University of Washington and wanted to have some world experience before settling into serious work. Little did I realise that I was going to end up living here as a permanent resident.

It didn't take me long to start making friends. Nevertheless, these new friends had no compunctions about teasing me to oblivion about my American accent. After hearing endless iterations of really bad American imitations, I decided I wasn't going to make the mistake of attempting what would probably be a badly exaggerated Australian accent. I figured that with time I would naturally start pronouncing things closer to a local manner. In the meantime I started collecting Australian idioms.

This story makes use of just a smattering of the Australian patois. If I laid it on any thicker, I am afraid the whole work would have been incomprehensible. Despite people's familiarity with the likes of Crocodile Dundee, most Australians do not speak what is known as Aussie ocker, most Australians are taught to speak BBC correct English with a local twist. However for the purposes of this story, so as to show off more colourful phrases, the characters are from the country just a little outside the western suburbs of Melbourne.

It was a stretch writing this and some of my friends may find unintentional Americanisms sneaking in. Yet I've already heard a few say, "No worries mate, she's apples." All I have to say is, "Fair enough" (or as Andrew likes to spell it, 'Fairy Nuff').